Baby boy, I don't even know how I've gotten through this long. I miss you so very much. I can't for the life of me know how I haven't heard your voice in 10 months, felt your hugs, fed you, hear your laugh and more importantly, shared moments with you and your beautiful daughter. I know you are with her every day but it isn't the same. Every one keeps telling me I have a special angel with me and I believe that baby boy but I still don't understood why it had to be you. I was fine with you being my angel by my side with me everyday. I pray to God that I am making you proud with the things that I am trying to do for you. The legacy that I am trying to leave behind for you in your name. The vision that we have talked about for years that I thought we would fulfill together as a family. I wished you was here bottom line. I am trying really hard to stay strong for you and I have moments where I am focused, and dedicated and then there are times where I just want to lay in bed and cry and just think of you all day. I know you don't want that for me, and I'm trying Teddy. I need you to please stay with me, please continue to strengthen me. Please continue to show me what you want me to do and talk with God to give me favor to do this. I love you, love you, love you, love you.......and love you some more. Please watch over these district attorneys and judges. Please let me at least get justice for you to help bring closure to this all. I feel so alone in doing this, I could be in a room full of people and feel like I'm the only one on this earth. No one can feel my pain. People try but they can't. I just pray that it gets easier but I want to be with you.....