Another Christmas without you Teddy, is so very hard. This is only the 2nd one. Last year seemed like a dream. This year, it became a reality for me and it hurts so very bad, I miss you so much. I took for granted your laugh, your wittiness to make a joke out of everything, your ability to know what was on my mind without me even having to say anything. You was truly my heart, you really knew your mother. I knew my son. I love my son and it hurts that I have to talk to you in my mind and in my heart while others are able to hold and love on their children in their arms. I'm not jealous. I don't wish any harm on anyone, by no means. It's just hard to be in the company of people still having all of their children and half of mine is gone. Not too many people understand and I can't explain it to them without sounding mean so I just keep to myself. Your brother had a nice Christmas. He got everything that he wanted and I held back my tears. I wasn't as cheery as I usually am because it's still so surreal not having stuff for you under the tree, and hearing ya'll cut up together. This really stinks!!!!!! I love you so much. Please tell Jesus I said Happy Birthday. I pray you are having a great time in Heaven. I can't wait to see you again. I miss you so much. Anyway, goodnight son, I love you again. Merry Christmas. love Mommy