Teddy, I post to your face book. I make pictures of you. I do whatever I need to do to make myself not happy but content because of you're not being here with me anymore. I can't say i'm in a better place, worse place, I don't know!!! I do know that I miss you MORE today then I did yesterday and any other day. I know that my life will never be the same and i'm trying so very hard to obtain some normalcy but sometimes i'm successful and sometimes, I just can't function. You are my heart. My first born son and I miss you sooooooooooooooooooooo very much. What I wouldn't give to visit you in Heaven, even if just for an hour. Can you work that out for me, maybe while i'm asleep? I wont tell anyone. I just need to hold you and talk to you and see you with my own eyes and not look at pictures anymore. I need help son in so many ways. Please never leave your mother because my mind will never not be on you!!! I love you with all my heart and soul. Trinity Forever, son. Love, Mommy