“The will of God will never take you to where the grace of God will not protect you.” God spoke to me this week. He is preparing me on 'this' side, while He handles it ALL on His side. I thank God for favor. I thank God for keeping my mind. I thank God that through it, I've learned to trust in Jesus, I learned to trust in God. To truly understand that our ways are not His ways and our thoughts are not His thoughts is an understatement. Almost makes me want to laugh. "Lord, I have nooooooo idea what you are doing right now, and I am being totally honest here:" But I do know that this is the same God that has kept me for these last 20 years of preparing and being a single mother, He has kept me. My children have never gone hungry nor homeless. They haven't had the best, but they have ALWAYS known that they have a mother who will be there through the storm and high winds. They both knew what unconditional real love was and for that I am eternally greatful to God for giving me that gift to share. There are countless situations that I don't even know how I got through, and God blessed me to not only be victorious, but to come out in my right mind. This is going to be one of them!! I'm in a lot of pain, I miss my son very much. God is alright with that. What I wont claim is depression. I have to stay in line with God mentally so I can now combat what the enemy thought was going to take me out! I had forgotten, the enemy knows our gifts and relationship with God just as much as God does. This is where I had my aha moment! I'm about to have the most difficult fight I have ever had in my life. I am fighting demons and principalities that have only been written about in the bible. I'm fighting strangers I have never met who have years of anger, hatred, abandonment issues, trust issues, fear among many other infirmities just dwelling inside of them. I am fighting spirits. At the end of the day, I'm fighting wounded people. People who are hurt, hurt people!! I have to be prepared to deal with people on levels even unbeknownst to myself, and this is where I finally say, " Lord, I am sorry I got besides myself! I just submit to you!!" I am going to continue to try and heal and allow God to comfort me and Jalen and all the many people who are hurting right now missing Teddy. Bottom line........Lord I cannot do this alone, and I'm just going to stop trying to. As far as these witnesses. You know what I forgot? God was there!!!!!!!!! God knows who saw what. God knows who is going to come forward and God knows what punishment those boys are going to get. Ha!!! God's got it! What a revelation. Teddy, I love and miss you so much. I'm going to sleep now and dream of you my son. Blessed son of mine, thank you for assisting the angels to come and speak to your mother. I love you. Trinity Forever...........Mommy, Teddy and Jalen