I don't know where the days are going. I can't keep up with the days of the week, and especially not the day of the month. The days are running into each other in my mind. I just glanced at the calendar. It's been 56 days since you have been gone. I have never going 5 or 6 days not talking to you since you've been in this world, so you know i'm going crazy here it being 56. Truth is I still talk to you but even though people say you are still with me, I feel kind of stupid. I talk and then wait for your response. Then I get sad when I don't get it. Almost like I keep setting myself up for disappointment or something. In 3 more days, it'll be officially 2 months. I remember how hard it was for me to do the 1 month anniversary. It actually took me days to prepare for it. That day itself, the 20th, just became a black day for me. Since getting your death certificate, I saw the exact time of death was 5:39pm so everyone who loved you, took a moment at that time and had a drink of whatever in honor of you. I wanted to do so much more but I didn't know what. This month, I will be alone, Jalen is going to MD for a week, so you and I will do something special and uninterrupted this time. Maybe i'll play all of your favorite songs (the ones without the curses in them), and we'll dance like we used to in my apartment. I taught you the 2 step well. We used to have so much fun dancing together to the oldies, doing the hustle. We'll have a special party, just me and you son. I'm going to run out for a little while, but I wanted to say good morning and that I looooooooove and misssssss you baby boy. What I wouldn't give for you to write me back a smart alek response to one of these posts. Anyway, we'll talk again later. hugs and kisses. Trinity Forever.........Mommy, Teddy and Jalen